Don't wake me up when i am having a good dream... don't wake me up also when i am having a bad one also...
Why? Am I so emo that I have fallen in love with pain?
No. Just because you are emo doesn't mean you have to adore pain!
Dreams.. well uh.. they are supposed to represent someone's subconscious mind... if that fact is true.. then, it never occurred to me.. but then.. dreams lie in nocturnity...
Things that you never thought disturbed you.. but things that do...
I was sleeping but not a deep one.. not a continuous one also... mid way through my sleep I was.... tumbling and sweating and shouting and screaming and clenching my teeth.. clutching the bed sheet and the cloth over my body... This drama is not limited to films as i realize..
What did i dream about? Smoke. My had smoke with thoughts... it gave me a headache... deja vu.. futuristic vision type.. just that i saw no future... or did i??
A class.. with unknowns.. and a few from b section... the section i hated from my heart since the day i can remember... 'A' section was the section that was changed... broken... sad. No. Not sad. Heart-breaking.
I would have to start my journey again. Again as a lonely kid. Make my way through and then make friends. There will be a difference this time. I'll have to fake. I need those folks to survive but i don't like those folks... But yet if i am around, i am around with my "friends"...
This is what my subconscious mind showed me... my fear... my belief to be parted before time...
And why was i like this?? Only because of my fucked up results...
Its not that i did bad the class teacher told me.. Its just that the others did well!
Gosh! Will I even be consoling myself via different characters even in my dreams?? A place where reality comes out? I dreamt of something that is in the hands of none and yet i demand myself reason!!! Now that's frustrating!!! But helpless...
Smoky dreams that gave me a headache.. that earned me a lecture from my oh-so-nice mom..
What if the dream turns out to be true?? Imaginative I know... but not impossible also.
AND yes. I am scared. Time ticks away. And all you are left with is Smoke.
Sleep.. you just need friggin sleep! All this is a result of your anxiety and disturbed sleeping pattern.. about what you said in your writing.. yes, it may be.. you may end up in some class surrounded people you dont like.. but anyway.. it doesnt matter.. its not your calling.. you cant do anything about it.. just forget about it.. and hope for the best.. and oh.. next time no matter how infatuated or in love you are.. just dont let that distract you from your first priority - studies!
ReplyDeletePictures are good.. you clicked the last picture? And then edited it or photoshopped it? Anyway.. it looks really good.. the first is also really good.. actually I think only that can say it all.. the middle one was completely unnecessary!
no dear.. no lack of sleep... i have lacked sleep to a greater extend... this is one category in which u can't lecture me.. i knw this better than u :)
ReplyDeleten no, the pic was necessary.. it showed the lonliness of the child and all cas she has to start over gain... the feeling of being defeated once again although she acheived so much in all these years
and the last pic.. i didnt take it.. chhorda did... n its not edited.. it for real.. picture of clouds frm a moving bus...
hmmmmmmmmm.......i wont give u any lecture as u are enough mature to understand what is correct and what is wrong....!!bt d feelin of lonliness dat u r havin, dont u think sumwhere or the other u urself is the reason...if u dont wanna talk to ppl den its bt obvious u fill lonely..if wanna stay wid urself ...u r gonna fill lonely!!
ReplyDeleten about sec being changed...we all r upset...why do think u need 2 b fake to survive in d new changed class..i dont think so!!n if u think u need to survive den bettr be urself..dont change urself to survive among the new frnd!!!n another thing....put it out of ur mind dat u hate dem...n try to mix wid dem too!!
no in-depth understanding or heartfelt advice from me...just one thing, which seems rather stupid after all that the others have written:
ReplyDeleteI've always hated section B too.
gem: how the hell do u except me to talk with ppl with hum my thinkin doe not match WITHOUT being fake??
ReplyDeletejay: dude, u understood me the best in this case... but i have to say... there were 3 gals i like from that section...